Overwhelmed

That was my first thought- there must be something formal we can do and should since it’s twice. Truly pissed off and taking the weekend so I have a level head, need to know what is ‘normal’ if I’m overreacting. I don’t want to make things worse but this pattern isn’t good for anyone and needs to be addressed somehow.

Long story but we declined eval (for now) and agreed to FBA. Two days later a PWN is sent home to us in unsealed envelope in my kids backpack. Which of course he read and a friend had been messing around and almost ‘got’ the envelope from him. He was all freaked out about it. This method of communicating seems wrong on many levels. Same thing last year with 504 - unsealed envelope handed to kid. Is this how your schools send formal legal documents containing private information???

Thank you all. Past evaluations (in and out of school) triggered and created problems (emotionally plus the bonus of invalid data). So we agreed after the last one (smaller, psych only) to take a break from it all, work on what we could outside school environment and use 504 accommodations (which the school has been supportive of) in the meantime. Seeing improvement but know there's more to go - there are missing puzzle pieces. Perhaps I am just clueless on how some of these softer items are evaluated (and yes we do use all the 'right' ways to explain evals and support to kid). Or even what schools consider 'education' outside the traditional academic lens so our thick skulls could 'get' how they could close the gap in current school environment if the data supported it. That's what I've been chasing, thinking it would be easier to get family consensus to start the drama all up again if I could show the benefits (versus waiting to request/consent until start of next school year). The school psychologist made reference to starting an FBA if we were ok with that. A local center said we could ask for/consent to an FBA without requesting/consenting to IEP evaluation - anyone experience that? Since its observational only don't think it would trigger problems so feel I could get family consensus on approving that.

@Jenna oops, yes, the 'conclusive' evaluation was done in Fall 2021 so a little over a year. I'm also wondering if I can ask for an FBA without it being an official IEP request. Anyone done this for a 504 kid? Realize I may be the only oddball on this forum questioning if the IEP process is worth it - to people who have fought and fought to even get an eval let alone a plan. We were previously told by local neuropsych and a 2e parent who got nowhere not to expect much of any valuable services for this situation/lots of IEP denials, and another one warning of labels. Hence my line of questioning about 'is it worth it' and 'has this ever caused problems for anyone' for a kid with a 504 ?

Thank you for suggestions (love your daughter's dark humor btw - these kids are gems!) Will check out Ross Green. When ADHD handled well the other challenges are sooooooo much better. Are schools not allowed to say what they can do/have to offer? 1:1 would not fly at all, pull outs probably not unless handled just right (gifted classes are pull out so the concept isn't new, but ending up in resource room may be an issue). Exec function help might be worth it if its done right. If there's a fun lunch group with social skills or S/E games or something that preserves self esteem maybe we'd consider? But no info, no clues - just crickets when we ask. It just seems like a red flag they won't share any idea of services a S/E only kid 'could receive', has received, etc. A few times in past years they dangled alternate placement (as either bad 'alternative school' or good 'you should go to xyz for their gifted program' which we know he would do terribly in both. Could this whole thing be used to keep encouraging alternate placement? if 2e child does qualify half expecting to hear 'we can't service him here.' The prospect of doing another eval (let alone two) if we don't think we could get actual help is truly overwhelming. The only conclusive/fully completed eval was limited, but was able to get meds, supports outside school, and believe we managed to use just one section of it listing 'necessary accomodations' to get 504. Thought about sharing more - their privacy approach is probably 'technically legal' but not handled well based on how staff has addressed child.

2e kid (gifted/adhd, 5th grade), has 504 and behavior problems. Initial IEP evaluation (kinder) said he didn't qualify, ups and downs with behavior but overall and upward trend (with outside help) Recent dip and showing a lot of emotion Recent school meeting to tell us all the things that are wrong, bleak picture for middle school, will be suspended soon, the normal grilling to see what we are doing and what 'we' could do better. At the very end, IEP evaluation was suggested by a staff member. Evaluations (we had outside ones too) are very rough on the kid and us. If we felt there was legit support that would help (in addition to our outside help) we'd be more interested. But we can't get a handle on what that might look like, what could actually be done that won't make him self conscious. Can get all kinds of Qs answered but NO ONE will say examples of S/E services the school can provide. Or the district. Closest I got was 1 description of 1 social emotional goal and nothing about what the service they used to address their example goal Anyone experienced problems because they evaluated S/E at the school? Pitfalls for 2e kids? Is it worth it?