Calm Down Room

[katemoore]

Hello, I’m new to this group.  Thank you for adding me!  I am also new to special education and ieps as my son was just diagnosed with autism.  He is in first grade.  We are starting his iep now.

He is high functioning, but he has extreme behavioral issues  He has been suspended twice for throwing things which hit other students.  

My question is about Restraint/Seclusion.  These are new to me and I’ve been hearing horror stories.  In my son’s positive behavior plan, the crisis safety plan clearly states that he can be detained in the “calm down room” if deescalation techniques have not worked.  

 I asked my son if he has ever heard if the calm down room and if he had ever been in there.  He gets extremely upset whenever I bring this up, therefore I keep gently trying to figure it out from him.  He finally has admitted to me that yes, he has been in there, sometimes with an adult, and sometimes by himself.  

My question is, if he was placed in the calm down room, apparently multiple times, don’t they have an obligation to notify and document these instances??  I have really bad vibes from both his principal and his caseworker and I really don’t trust them.  I believe if I asked this they would straight up lie to me.  And by his reaction there is no way I believe he is lying to me.  I had to convince him I wasn’t mad at him it was okay to tell me the truth. 

Has anyone had experience with this?  How can I approach the fact that I believe they put my son in seclusion and didn’t notify me?  Several times? We have an advocate but she doesn’t seem to want to take up the issue.  Do I need a lawyer?  I’m literally disgusted thinking about this.  Considering homeschooling and we haven’t even implemented the iep yet.

[Lisa Lightner]

So, there's a lot going on here. And I'm headed out the door to take Thing 2 to basketball practice.

1. even tho it might feel scary--I'd fire this advocate. What are you paying them for, if they don't want to take up the difficult issues? Find another one. But this doesn't feel like money well spent to me if they won't do the hard things.

2. Restraint and seclusion regulations vary by state. So you're going to have to find them for your state, they should be in your state's education code. Also, look at your school district website for restraint and seclusion policies. 

3. Restraint and seclusion doesn't work, plain and simple. Is the FBA and BIP solid, in that it identifies what it is that is going on with your son that causes these episodes? Most FBAs are not. Consider asking for an IEE.

4. I have mixed feelings about high functioning and low functioning labels. I do use the term low functioning to describe my own son, as it is an accurate description of him. However, when people use the term high functioning, it usually means verbal ability and not much else. Clearly your son needs instruction in emotional regulation and self advocacy--to recognize when this is happening and appropriately self advocate for a coping mechanism (sensory break, etc.). When you use the term high functioning, it sets an expectation for him, that it does not appear he can meet at this time. 

[katemoore]

11 minutes ago, Lisa Lightner said:

So, there's a lot going on here. And I'm headed out the door to take Thing 2 to basketball practice.

1. even tho it might feel scary--I'd fire this advocate. What are you paying them for, if they don't want to take up the difficult issues? Find another one. But this doesn't feel like money well spent to me if they won't do the hard things.

2. Restraint and seclusion regulations vary by state. So you're going to have to find them for your state, they should be in your state's education code. Also, look at your school district website for restraint and seclusion policies. 

3. Restraint and seclusion doesn't work, plain and simple. Is the FBA and BIP solid, in that it identifies what it is that is going on with your son that causes these episodes? Most FBAs are not. Consider asking for an IEE.

4. I have mixed feelings about high functioning and low functioning labels. I do use the term low functioning to describe my own son, as it is an accurate description of him. However, when people use the term high functioning, it usually means verbal ability and not much else. Clearly your son needs instruction in emotional regulation and self advocacy--to recognize when this is happening and appropriately self advocate for a coping mechanism (sensory break, etc.). When you use the term high functioning, it sets an expectation for him, that it does not appear he can meet at this time. 

Thank you for your feedback!  And thank for the insight on the those two terms, I really hadn’t thought of it that way.  I was just using terms our developmental ped had used.   Thank you again! 

[JSD24]

The rules vary by state if parents need to be notified about restraint or seclusion.  I believe there are timelines on notification in some states.  Definitely look up the rules in your state and consider filing a complaint with your state DOE if the school didn't follow the rules.  One thing you can ask is to see the calm down room.  In some schools, these are equipped with sensory items that can aid in calming down.  In other schools, they look more like prison cells.  If your child tends to be more upset at home with being secluded earlier in the day, you can request, as an IEP accommodation, that you get an email or text when the room is used so you can help him process the trauma of being restrained and then secluded.  (It's a way to get the school to let you know how often it's used and if it's used often, you'll know the BIP isn't working and needs to be tweaked.)  In most states, there are explicit rules that students need to be monitored at all times including during seclusion.  Pretty sure that adults need to be with students at all times except for in bathrooms & locker rooms.

Guy Stephens has a lot of info on this on his website.  He runs the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint.  He started this after his child was traumatized by being restrained.  https://endseclusion.org/  He's also on Facebook.

Restraint and seclusion should only ever be used when a child is a danger to themself or others.  The BIP should prevent him from getting to that point if it's the right intervention.  Ross Greene is someone I consider to be an expert on behavior.  This is more info on his approach to managing behavior: