How to respond to “there was an incident today “ phone call

[LisaS]

My autistic and adhd son punched another student at recess today. The other student stepped on his hand by accident. My son was immediately sorry and expressed it to the other boy and told the teachers what had happened.  The boy, by my son’s description, is a really nice kid he did not want to hurt.
 

the school called and said the other boy is fine and they were proud of my son for expressing regret etc.

my son told me that he was in a bad mood, annoyed by certain other kids, which he said led to his lack of control. 

the school spent a whole period talking to him about something he admitted was wrong but what he really needs is ways to handle being irritated and control his impulses or avoid stressful situations.

So, I want the school to help him think through: like if two of the four kids playing four square are whiney and annoying ( to him subjectively) - what choices does he have? 
 

honestly, that’s tough for any 13 year old.
 

he told his OT that it happened because he was autistic and she said it didn’t. 
 

I’m going to wait until tonight and then possibly email my concerns and suggestions to his special Ed teacher mostly to get them on record. 

Are there IEP goals for impulse control? 

[LisaS]

Answered my own question - I found IEP goals here.

[JSD24]

Impulses are controlled by the frontal lobe.  It tends to be less-developed in children with ADHD & autism.  It really is beyond his control.  Best solution is to not get him dysregulated so there's less to be impulsive about.  You can teach them strategies but it's hard to use them when you're dysregulated.