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I need a support group

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My child is what I’ve heard called explosive or extreme. She (6yo, kindergarten) has an ADHD-C Dx and struggles severely with emotional regulation, self control, and impulsivity. She’s also anxious and defiant. This manifests as physical aggression - hitting, kicking, biting, scratching, pulling hair, throwing objects, tearing things up, knocking over furniture. Although we have a pretty good team at school plus her a pediatrician, psychologist, psychiatrist, and behavioral therapist, I’m overwhelmed and drowning. It’s constant, unrelenting trauma. I’m trying to prevent injury to her and myself, I’m constantly vigilant, I never relax, and I’m communicating with school daily doing a “will-they, won’t-they” ask me to pick her up for, e.g., destroying a classroom and having a near-naked meltdown because she bit her clothes to shreds and took them off (that happened Tuesday).

One hard part is that I don’t know anyone else whose kid is like mine. I feel so alone and don’t know where to get advice on the daily things. (Like right now, I can’t keep her closet stocked. She keeps destroying her clothes. I can’t mend them fast enough. Cheap clothes tear so easily, higher quality ones are too expensive to go through this quickly. What to do?)

Does anyone know of any type of support group that I might fit into? SOS. 

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Does the pediatrician, psychiatrist and behavioral therapist all know how severe the behaviors are lately? Ask them how they can help your family. Does your family receive  any support from the Dept. of Developmental Disabilities in your area? Sometimes DD and/or Medicaid programs can offer some respite. 

Some support groups are online, and some meet in person. Your local board of DD should be able to direct you to caregiver support groups in your area that would be relevant to your family. With online support groups, most list info about the group on their page before you request to join.

With all the calls you're receiving from the school, do you feel your child is in an appropriate placement to meet her needs? One option is to request an IEP meeting and discuss all the times they're calling you and the challenges at school, and ask them how they can support your child's needs so she can be successful and access her education? 

Do you feel that she has been evaluated in ALL areas of concern (social emotional, behavioral, speech, OT/sensory, adaptive skills, etc)? If not, ask the school to evaluate those areas ASAP if they haven't already. If they did evaluate those areas and you disagree with evals, you can request an IEE (https://adayinourshoes.com/iee-independent-education-evaluation/) for each eval you disagree with.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I don't have advice, but just want to acknowledge how hard it is to parent a child that has needs other parents in our immediate circles don't share.

For the mods/admins, is it possible to add parent support subforum. Not a place to ask for iep/504 advice because that is covered well in the rest of the forum, but a place to chat with parents whose kids have similar diagnoses and presentations, or just to say, wow today was really hard, that 3 hour iep meeting wore me out, ugh the only teacher in my child's school that understands him took a job in another district, and know the people reading can relate?

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