Potential Twice Exceptional student

[starlight970]

My child already has an IEP in place. I am struggling in advocating for them as they having a hard time in the mainstream class setting but they are above grade level academically. They are too young for any kind of Gifted and Talented style program. They have delays in their emotional regulation and their social skills with peers. I have requested for BIP's in the past but have been in a stand still on them. They are diagnosed with ADHD and high levels of anxiety.

I don't know if it is my own anxiety but I am hitting an absolute wall into what is reasonable to ask for. My child is bored in class. Homework is a challenge because they find everything extremely easy and don't want to make effort. School has barely been in session and they have already been suspended again. I feel as if I am swimming against the current and since my child is not academically behind  there isn't anything the school can do to help. I have been hearing that my child is very intelligent since the age of two. I don't know what to ask for.  What I would ideally love is for there to be a pullout time where my child could have a sensory break of the classroom demands and an opportunity to practice more challenging curriculum. A chance to be able to have time with peers that he feels more understood by so he could foster friendships to help counterbalance the teasing he is experiencing.

If anyone has any tips or words of encouragement I would greatly appreciate it. As I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my sails right now.

[JSD24]

If the behavior is coming from academic instruction that isn't at an appropriate level of rigor for a student, the fix would be to provide appropriately rigorous instruction.  Has the school done an FBA?  A BIP/PBSP needs to be based on data and an FBA is where this data comes from.

I'm not sure what state you are in so I'm not sure what the rules are on how gifted has to be done.  I'm in PA & GIEPs go from K to 12 even though the formal gifted program in many schools doesn't start until 3rd grade.

I do have a suggestion for homework.  Modify it to his level.  If the assignment is addition of single digit numbers, find a worksheet with double digit addition or change the one he brought home and have him do it and hand it in.  Write a note that he was bored and uncooperative with the assigned homework, so you modified it.  This also provides data on how mismatched his ability is to the work the class is doing.

If you feel your child needs sensory breaks and enrichment, figure out what the school needs to do to come up with data on that being the need so they can tweak the IEP so he has the right support.  There are evals for social skills.  Has any been done?

I'm also thinking that this might not be ADHD & anxiety.  My oldest was like this - got an ADHD diagnosis in kindergarten.  As it turned out, she's on the autism spectrum.  She was diagnosed with Aspergers in 7th grade.  This was changed to autism level one when the DSM 5 came out.  She's 2E.  Very bright - had a GIEP.  Communication skills & social skills were low.  It's a hard combination to deal with.  The school saw the intelligence but not the deficits.  She finally got an IEP at the end of 8th grade.

[starlight970]

An FBA hasn't been performed as by the time the school gets around to implement one my child has gotten more adjusted with his teachers and his behavior minimizes. I requested one in Kinder when I knew it existed and got a lot of push back. By the time the school finally consents to doing an FBA my child is more adjusted with his teachers and they him. So his behaviors have become more manageable.

ASD was discussed at age 3 and he was formally evaluated that is not the path Developmental Peds went. I have been informed that since he is so academically bright Developmental Peds aren't going to catch it because he is able to mask for them and the older he gets the better he can. School puts more demands on him and they are seeing the results. So I have been requesting the school Psychologist to really look into this.

He had his first evaluation prior to 4k. I came in with his Early Interventionist, data from his therapeutic preschool, PT, and OT. I still had to fight tooth and nail to get an IEP for him. As they wanted to "wait and see" that they don't have "enough data" to make that determination. He was able to get an IEP in place for 4k and he had consistent behavior problems. No FBA was ever mention by his IEP staff and I didn't even know what one was to request it. In 4K I put a lot of blind trust in him. Come Kinder he was getting suspend and eloping and staff wasn't aware he could elope.

I think your homework solutions are a wonderful idea and I appreciate you sharing them.  My child can be very literal at times so unless the teacher tells him specifically that's what needs to happen I will meet a lot of resistance.

He has amazing communication skills until he can't. His intelligence causes this ability to shine until he is getting unregulated and he can't communicate he is hungry. So the evaluations see him as charismatic and intelligent while glazing over the fact that he just had an hour long meltdown because his routine has changed and he missed lunch. And if you ask him if he wants something to eat during these moments everything is "NO!"  A lot of sensory things just add up for him and he gets overstimulated and overwhelmed. We've discussed the spoon theory with his IEP team last year helping them to understand that on a sensory level he may be able to tolerate certain stimuli on a give day but that it takes away from his over all tolerance. He needs time to refill his spoons. Which is why I have been pushing for time out of the mainstream classroom. So he can sit in different areas have smaller ratios and just catch his breathe so to speak.

I am getting an IEP advocate to go through this years worth of IEPs. I just feel personally burnt out I don't know what to for advocate anymore.

[JSD24]

My child had a disconnect with her body.  Not sure if hunger signals were at a low level or not recognized but I'd see 'hangry' and check my watch to see it's been hours since I last served food.  Food fixed the hangries every time.

I think you need to write a parent concerns letter that your child will be dysregulated & might elop along with other 'bad behaviors' until they are comfortable with the new adults in his life.  This way it will be anticipated at the beginning of each school year as well as if the teacher takes any time off.

Meet with the teacher and see if they can tell your child that you might be modifying homework and he can do that homework or what was sent home but no complaining about homework or not doing anything.  (Taking things literally is definitely an ASD sort of thing.)  I think the 'NO' might be a sensory thing as he wants the food he's familiar with and not what he's being offered.

Does the school have data on how 'wait & see' works?  When I've seen this done, it generally ends up bad but I've not seen a  research study on this that shows it's evidence based.  I'd say he's 2E and I feel they are the hardest kids to figure out what to do with.