I would first ask for a copy of the current ETR so you could thoroughly review it for accuracy. ETRs are required every three years. A new ETR does not have to be written each time a new evaluation is performed. However, the evaluations must be done by qualified individuals following their profession's standards, and, evaluations also must be performed with fidelity to the test maker's instructions.
Ask that the facilitated meeting time be moved to a time in which the appropriate school staff (such as the case manager) could attend. I'd talk with your private providers and see if you can find 3 times that would work for them to attend an IEP meeting, and let the district and the facilitator know those dates/times, and ask if those dates would work for them. To help control your costs in cases of long IEP meetings covering several different areas that may not be relevant to your private providers, it's OK for them to attend only part of the meeting. Holding meetings via Zoom is also more economical than paying travel expenses.
Bring up your concern that the team didn't list his strengths. There's usually a checkbox on the IEP for the team to mark that they've considered the strengths of the child. Don't let them check that box until they have. You can ask that your parent letter of concern be included, in its entirety, in the parent input section.