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Hello I want to start off and say some kids do well in general Education while bringing autistic which is the exception not the rule. Which is why I get frustrated at team members always GeN Ed as some goal or amazing finish line. I'm in nyc and I honestly never want or see my son in GenEd. It's overcrowded undertrained and underfunded. My autistic son has sensory processing disorder and a language disorder that is more skewed to processing and pragmatics. He struggles heavily with executive functioning. This year he has struggled with behaviors for the first time ever mostly due to watching other kids getting upset and not receiving his much needed OT for almost half the year as his favorite OT who wss most effective quit right before September. He is super social extremely eager to please just gets frustrated and rigid at times and can be very competitive so when playing win/lose games behaviors like making fists and an angry face and raising voice happen. He has always been extremely pleasant and redirectable with praise and talking it out but this year they have had staff issues. We have a great rapport with one of his teachers he is in a NEST school it's a program in a public school that is specifically for autistic students and focuses on the individual students needs and social skills and other asd skills that are a challenge. He has always been ahead academically and only has starting getting frustrated this year (3rd grade) as the material is more dense and abstract along with the more demanding writing work which I believe his executive functioning and processing are the culprits to his frustration with his academics and finishing things on a steady speed and better time management in school/at home during hw. He is extremely distractible but also hyper focuses when in the "mood" and has trouble moving on /transitioning sometimes which is a new thing this year. All this to say he struggles socially making deepe connections and being a good baxk and forth talker but being in this amazing setting its like a more specialized ICT all staff is nest trained yearly and more on asd and different techniques. He has a GenEd and SpEd teacher and a cluster nest teacher who follows the class during all specials/classes outside of the classroom. They have a social skills group called SDI and do Social emotional learning in the classroom as well. He gets speech and OT. We just added counseling recently to help with self reflection and talking out about his behaviors and where this short temper has come from and pinpointing triggers. My biggest concerns have been how my son is doing socially and behaviorally and then pushing him academically and finding good supports and tools to help.hik continue to do well despite his executive functioning issues and finding tools to make it easier like using graphics organizer check lists visual charts and timers etc.. his new Gen Ed teacher keeps stating how iep goal is to mainstream and almost minimizing his issues since he is above grade level but the whole nest philosophy is about the individual students and pushing them to their potential so just b.c he's ahead now doesn't mean with zero EF supports and having him try more advanced topics and trying more ways to have him complete his work more increasingly independently with his checklists and breaking takss down with some support so he can learn these strategies and apply them to his work so when work inevitably gets harder denser and more rigorous he is prepared to do it and is able to do so independently. But this weird push of GenEd and mainstream where he would never survive sensorywise much less learn anything as 25-35 kids with one nontrained teacher with zero supports for his language and processing disorder his sensory and executive functioning disorder and speech delays and overall maturity being naive and younger emotially than cognitively makes no sense. Mind you he is autistic and needs staff and teachers who understand his atypical and unique self and all the quirks of asd and how wide the spectrum is. I'm worried she is trying to set up to take away supports and am trying to get ahead of this with the right language why genEd and no supports will never be appropriate for my son and how he can not learn or process the same way NT peers or genEd's small mold expects him to. He has tons of spliter skills he is ahead in math but has trouble making sure to complete every direction as he speeds through and has issue with reading between the lines and word problems and explaining himself with proof. Writing nonfiction and having source material and writing spontaneously with many pages is hard and he does get frustrated since he tends to get stuck in some parts and doesn't always use grade level language and details since he wants to get it over with. I would like them to work more on breaking it down and pushing him to do to the best of his ability as he likes to write his owns stories at home and pretend comics so I know he can write well and has capacity to do better but I feel like they see he can meet the minimum expectations of 3rd grade and don't want to push more which is more the GenEd teacher than anyone else. She has never worked with him before either and I'm worried she is trying to campaign to remove supports please advice language and more details why least restrictive environment being GenEd doesn't work for everyone and that having no issues academically doesn't mean he doesn't need supports he has no issues BECAUSE of his SUPPORTS and all the work he has done with his therapists and myself over all the years and myself have done. Please advice on different accommodations for EF deficits and how he will need support as he is autistic and needs them to stay on track! Thank you so much

Wow. There is a lot to unpack here. Before getting into specific questions, what do you mean by "we suddenly have our daughter's IEP tomorrow"? Did the school district not give you the required days' notice (should be at least 7 days or longer if your specific state requires it)? If so, that's their problem, not yours. You are entitled to the required days' notice. If that puts them out of compliance, so be it. They're also out of compliance when they don't provide you with sufficient notice. 1. As for goals, I'm going to assume she has a reading disability and if so, I think accommodations are more what you need than goals (at least for what you're asking about in this question). First, make sure she has the accommodation of text-to-speech at school and at home so she doesn't have to read so much. Second, ask for shortened assignments once mastery is shown. Third, due to her disability, she should only be required to do 1.5 times the amount of homework that her peers are required to do (so if reading takes her a long time, her assignments need to be shortened). All three of these are accommodations. And all three are required due to her disability, otherwise it's discrimination (sometimes that word gets their attention). 2. IEP's are Individual Education Program. They are not a one-size-fits-all. It doesn't matter what your school has decided to do with respect to other students. If your daughter needs Tier 3 (I would argue she needs more if she's in the 7th percentile), then that is what she should get. Data is what drives the goals - not the school's decision to mainstream. Look at the data for baselines to see what goals should be set. What concepts in math does she understand and what does she still need to work on? If the school's data isn't good, then ask for an Independent Educational Evaluation at no cost to you. Also, I wouldn't want her in the math lab at all. You are correct - they will be going over concepts she doesn't understand (and won't be able to understand as long as she's at the 7th percentile), so it will be a waste of time. She should be getting specialized instruction during that time. 3. Again, IEP's cannot be written to match what the school is doing for other students. HER data has to show she can be mainstreamed - not just because it is now the school's "policy." (Speaking of which, I would ask for their written policy on this - I'm guessing it doesn't exist.) As far as holding an IEP meeting when you can't attend, this is totally contrary to the IDEA, as well as (I assume) your state's rules and regs. The parent is an integral part of an IEP team and the school district has to make an effort to schedule a meeting at a time the parent can attend. As to amending the IEP document, they don't have to hold a meeting, but they do have to inform you in a Prior Written Notice. Finally, as far as destroying the original IEP, that is a violation of so many laws I don't know where to begin. Action items for you: 1. Do a FERPA request for all your son's school records. That way you either get the original IEP document or have proof that they don't have it. 2. File a state complaint regarding the fact that the school district did not notify you of the change to the original IEP document. 3. File a state complaint regarding your daughter's IEP process (even if you are going to a private school - this will help other parents who follow you) for both the meeting notice failures and failure to include you in the meeting. 4. Ask for an Independent Educational Evaluation for your daughter's math levels if they refuse to provide her with specialized instruction (a math lab is NOT specialized instruction). 5. Look for an advocate in your state to assist you. What the school district is doing is wrong, and an advocate might get that turned around. You could call your state department of education and ask them for suggestions on agencies that provide this service.