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I didn't find anything specific in Illinois. And the IDEA just says "withing a reasonable time."

That is unusual. I'm wondering if the school district (and others in your state) have had success before mediators and hearing officers? You might call their bluff with respect to the mediation, since due process means you would probably need to hire an attorney. I don't know the process in your state, but usually you are given a list of mediators to choose from. Vet them carefully. But first, you might try filing a state complaint (or even just making an informal call to the state compliance department) stating your right to "participate meaningfully" in the IEP process is being thwarted. I would also see if your state offers facilitated IEP meetings. That would be helpful, as the facilitator ensures that everyone can speak.

You do a Right to Know (FOIA request) for budget and spending. You can ask for whatever you want in financials. List of checks, invoices, spending and budget by line item (out of district tuition, legal fees, etc ) by month, etc. Names will be redacted on invoices. You can also do a RTK for the ODR cases that are no longer there and you’ll get a little bit of insight as to why in the list you get. I just received my response from this request last week— You requested records relating to OCR complaints filed for the following school districts including the name of the recipient; the date complaint was filed; the type of discrimination included in the complaint; the date the complaint was resolved, withdrawn, dismissed, or other; the basic reasons for OCR's decision; or other related information between 1/1/2005 and 3/30/2023.