" what thoughts, feelings and emotions come up in IEP meetings themselves"
Anxiety about my child's future as they fall further behind grade level.
Worry about my child's self esteem as they work harder and harder to fall further behind. Worry that one day they will just give up trying.
Anger that my child's disability symptoms are discussed as though they are character flaws.
Frustration about being lied to (about my child's grades being inflated to deny services, laws being misrepresented to deny services) and not being able to think quickly enough or have the necessary facts on hand to refute the lies.
Anger at having to scrape together the money for an advocate so the iep team will do what the federal government has already mandated them to do. And close on the heels is despair over educational inequity since hiring an advocate seems to be more and more necessary.
A headache from the strain of remaining tactful and polite while monumental decisions are being made for my child by people who don't understand his condition or needs.
Occasionally, relief and even cautious hopefulness when it seems like goals and supports are being put in place. This is usually short-lived as the supports don't manifest.
And exhaustion because I rarely sleep well before an IEP meeting.