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Child does not want to stay at school.


Jen T
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My 14yo son has always had very high anxiety. He's having trouble with wanting to go to school and stay at school. At our placement he just got dismissed from he didnt have a choice but to go as a van picked him up and transported. But he did everything he could to be sent home. He just wants to be with mom. I have reached out to his psychiatrist for medication adjustment and developmental pediatrics for help. But i dont know what to do. He has been traumatized from being restrained at public school and his 2nd private placement. This last placement didnt restrain even after he managed to unlock door and exit building. We also recently discovered he has Autism along with all his other disabilities  Background, when he was young and in public school he quickly learned if he misbehaved enough, ripping papers up, throwing items, yelling etc that he would get sent home. This happened from pre-k - 3rd grade. Mid third grade he was placed at a private school for children with Autism. He stayed at this school for half 3rd grade through 4th. His behavior and learning excelled. He was actually close to grade level for accademics.  By this time we knew he had dyscalculia, dyslexia, dysgraphia, apraxia, emotional communication disorder, speech delays, hypotonia, CAPD, Anxiety, and Social Anxiety. After long talk with school he was at it was decided that he would be able to handle more rigorous accademics. We moved him to a different school that was for children with learning disabilities, emotional disabilities and autism. We fully believed he could handle this. He started new school in summer and did ok, mainly because it was relaxing, not a lot of work fun ect. When they started back to school in Sept and got into accademics child immediately started having behavior issues similar to when in public school. These behaviors continued to get progressively worse till point he was sent home almost everytime had a behavior. I tried speaking with the principal that this imitated his behavior at public  school and he learned if he got in trouble he'd get sent home with mom. Principal insisted this wouldn't happen..... this happened for close to 2.5 years. I kept asking his public school for help. His developmental pediatrician knew what was going on, tried increasing medication dosage, nothing worked until we got a FBA done last school year. It took Nov and Dec to get this done because his behaviors weren't daily. We finally met beginning Jan and the BIP was put in place. Biggest thing the BCBA stated was child was showing behavior to get sent home. He didn't want to be at school, wanted to be home with me. And he learned if his behavior was bad he'd get sent home.  Took about a month to get child into school after 1st incident he didn't get sent home. But he quickly adjusted to fact and behavior started turning around. Behavior was much improved by time school let out for summer. Come Sept started having behavior again,  had a major behavior issue and the school decided it was not the correct placement since after 3 years things were same. So we looked at other schools and finally found what thought was the perfect school. He started on Nov 1st, had little issues but got through day. Next day again had some issues, we were scheduled to have online family therapy that day but asked me to come on. After therapy child refused to return to program. Other students were outside at time. Child proceeded to go to my car and cling to it, refusing to go to class. Took him home as knew there was no safe way to keep at school. Thurs and Fri much better days. Getting a long with peers, doing some work happier. Then this past Mon, dad forgot to give child medication before going to school. Child was well behaved on transportation to school. Once arrived at school in classroom started to shutdown. Started ripping papers which progressed to throwing items, tipping furniture over ect. At this point the talk therapist and school director with child. Child moved to quiet room when requested. Settled down briefly when knew I was on way. Unfortunately I was an hour away which he felt was too long. He left the quiet room and went to front door where it took him a few minutes but he figured out how to unlock the door. Proceeded outside, stated breaking things outside and then tried to elope. Left school grounds, cross street to another field and proceeded to head toward a busy street. Director followed with other person in van to head off if needed. As expected child was dismissed from this school due to elopement. We are looking at other schools that previously accepted him hoping one will still accept him. I  need help though, how do I convince child they have to behave at school and not run away. They can not spend all day with mom. I did have him talk with the school resource officer which is a sheriff at the public school when we met for his iep this past Friday. I think he got through to him some but I'm still nervous he'll pull this wherever he goes. 

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