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Can you help me please*time sensitive*


THuynh
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I downloaded your IEP binder resources but it’s still so foreign to me as to what to do in my situation. 
I have triplets, they are 6 yrs old now and asd diagnosed. We have been in therapy since 6 month old through CDSA which came to the house. Than when they turned three everyone aged out of the CDSA and they were evaluated for exceptional children preK. Only one qualified. 
We still continued outside services for the other two (feeding, OT, PT for Savannah, speech) but Colton received OT and speech at preK in addition to the private services  outside of school. We have had a sensory processing diagnosis very early on but I never pursued the asd diagnosis per my pediatrician recommendation since we already had all the services under Medicaid, The next year the other two were able to go based on a fee-for-service and when they were finishing up that year wanting to transition them to Kindergarten, I wanted them to stay back. They told me no and I had already asked for them to be evaluated for an IEP to which they had denied me after evaluation. 

Colton at this time had an IEP under developmental delay and the other two did not. Since they wouldn’t let me keep them in PreK and they didn’t have the tools to go to K successfully, I pulled them. Colton could have gone on to K with his IEP but they are triplets and I am drowning everyday.. so I couldn’t have done that. 
So we qualified for ESA plus and opportunity scholarship based on income and Colton having an IEP and we sent them to a private school for K but treated it as a transitional K knowing I was always going to hold them back. 
Fast forward, our IEP expired- which I didn’t know until I went to apply for funding again this year- we also finally received our asd diagnosis and never stopped our therapies. Once being diagnosed we added ABA and that’s been lifechanging. Still haven’t slept through the night since Colton was one but we are working on it.. 

BUT all background aside. 

I sent to the public school as other homeschoolers have done and they def remembered me. After the “should have sent him to K” “ I told you to just have faith in him” remarks aside I am in the process , long long process of having everyone evaluated for IEP’s. I have filled out stacks of tests answering question after question like I did for the asd diagnosis.. and on Tuesday.. (oh God I hope you see this before Tuesday) they give me a yay or nay on the IEP. The school psychologist keeps telling me they are well behaved and they are doing so well and that an asd diagnosis doesn’t qualify or outside services (speech feeding PT for two OT for all and ABA doesn’t qualify them fir IEP’s so I know they are going yo tell me no. 

See my kids are high functioning and obedient but they should be we have a tool box of items therapists for 6 years now have given me and I use them. I do everything every therapist has recommended from day 1 to our own demise. I M consistent and my house is set up like a preschool with visual timers schedules calm down centers I dentifcabtion of feelings posters.. reward charts and calm down strategies.. of course they will listen. My goal has never been to disable my children or change them it’s just been to give them the tools necessary to support who they are in todays society. 

Also, it’s not that I don’t believe in the public school it’s that I feel they don’t have the tools that need to go. 
We say things because we have large issues with social pragmatic speech like “ your black skin is smelly” “ I don’t like black monster people” I mean things they don’t understand bevause they just don’t like contrast and differences in anything even their food.. but I can’t let them say that to another child. And Colton sees things and has irrational fears all night and with shadows during the day and it’s always someone dying bleeding apocalypse going to happen or the mungus is saying to kill the people.. he confuses reality and fiction a lot. Again, I can’t let him go to school and say something to someone they deem unsafe.. we work on social stories and situational responses and how people feel when you say something.. like Savannah has zero empathy.. hurts people to hurt people sometimes, will fall down and have blood gushing from her leg and will still not say anything until her pants are dirty such a high pain tolerance, she has a tongue thrust wears glasses like coke bottles and mason has visual tracking issues and gets vison therapy..  I am on a tangent and happy to send you any of our tests if you want to see.. I did take some pictures. 


So all that aside, what do I say when they deny them? 
Can I use PWN at that time even though we don’t have N IEP?
I read on one of your posts about requesting an outside evaluation, I can’t find it again. What words do I say to do that?
What other options do I have at the time they deny me and what words do I not say? They already think I am a crazy loon because I am a hot mess. I confuse the triplets sometimes and will say oh no mason does that not Colton and they have made comments I need to keep post it notes on the kids and every one laughs.

If we can’t get an IEP we lose all funding for the alternative school they are thriving in and I can’t send them to public school without tools either.. I feel lost. I am hoping this is read and that you have some words of guidance so I know how to continue this IEP process..  I am sorry it’s so long. 


I have to tell you as a side note: had I found your blog before we left the school and they gradually took items I didn’t want taken off of Colton’s IEP it might have been a different situation. I am thankful for your passion to do this for families. Even if you read this after my meeting date I wanted to say that. 

I downloaded your IEP binder resources but it’s still so foreign to me as to what to do in my situation. 
I have triplets, they are 6 yrs old now and asd diagnosed. We have been in therapy since 6 month old through CDSA which came to the house. Than when they turned three everyone aged out of the CDSA and they were evaluated for exceptional children preK. Only one qualified. 
We still continued outside services for the other two (feeding, OT, PT for Savannah, speech) but Colton received OT and speech at preK in addition to the private services  outside of school. We have had a sensory processing diagnosis very early on but I never pursued the asd diagnosis per my pediatrician recommendation since we already had all the services under Medicaid, The next year the other two were able to go based on a fee-for-service and when they were finishing up that year wanting to transition them to Kindergarten, I wanted them to stay back. They told me no and I had already asked for them to be evaluated for an IEP to which they had denied me after evaluation. 

Colton at this time had an IEP under developmental delay and the other two did not. Since they wouldn’t let me keep them in PreK and they didn’t have the tools to go to K successfully, I pulled them. Colton could have gone on to K with his IEP but they are triplets and I am drowning everyday.. so I couldn’t have done that. 
So we qualified for ESA plus and opportunity scholarship based on income and Colton having an IEP and we sent them to a private school for K but treated it as a transitional K knowing I was always going to hold them back. 
Fast forward, our IEP expired- which I didn’t know until I went to apply for funding again this year- we also finally received our asd diagnosis and never stopped our therapies. Once being diagnosed we added ABA and that’s been lifechanging. Still haven’t slept through the night since Colton was one but we are working on it.. 

BUT all background aside. 

I sent to the public school as other homeschoolers have done and they def remembered me. After the “should have sent him to K” “ I told you to just have faith in him” remarks aside I am in the process , long long process of having everyone evaluated for IEP’s. I have filled out stacks of tests answering question after question like I did for the asd diagnosis.. and on Tuesday.. (oh God I hope you see this before Tuesday) they give me a yay or nay on the IEP. The school psychologist keeps telling me they are well behaved and they are doing so well and that an asd diagnosis doesn’t qualify or outside services (speech feeding PT for two OT for all and ABA doesn’t qualify them fir IEP’s so I know they are going yo tell me no. 

See my kids are high functioning and obedient but they should be we have a tool box of items therapists for 6 years now have given me and I use them. I do everything every therapist has recommended from day 1 to our own demise. I M consistent and my house is set up like a preschool with visual timers schedules calm down centers I dentifcabtion of feelings posters.. reward charts and calm down strategies.. of course they will listen. My goal has never been to disable my children or change them it’s just been to give them the tools necessary to support who they are in todays society. 

Also, it’s not that I don’t believe in the public school it’s that I feel they don’t have the tools that need to go. 
We say things because we have large issues with social pragmatic speech like “ your black skin is smelly” “ I don’t like black monster people” I mean things they don’t understand bevause they just don’t like contrast and differences in anything even their food.. but I can’t let them say that to another child. And Colton sees things and has irrational fears all night and with shadows during the day and it’s always someone dying bleeding apocalypse going to happen or the mungus is saying to kill the people.. he confuses reality and fiction a lot. Again, I can’t let him go to school and say something to someone they deem unsafe.. we work on social stories and situational responses and how people feel when you say something.. like Savannah has zero empathy.. hurts people to hurt people sometimes, will fall down and have blood gushing from her leg and will still not say anything until her pants are dirty such a high pain tolerance, she has a tongue thrust wears glasses like coke bottles and mason has visual tracking issues and gets bison therapy..  I am on a tangent and happy to send you any of our tests if you want to see.. I did take some pictures. 


So all that aside, what do I say when they deny them? 
Can I use PWN at that time even though we don’t have N IEP?
I read on one of your posts about requesting an outside evaluation, I can’t find it again. What words do I say to do that?
What other options do I have at the time they deny me and what words do I not say? They already think I am a crazy loon because I am a hot mess. I confuse the triplets sometimes and will say oh no mason does that not Colton and they have made comments I need to keep post it notes on the kids and every one laughs.

If we can’t get an IEP we lose all funding for the alternative school they are thriving in and I can’t send them to that public school either.. I feel lost. I am hoping this is read and that you have some words of guidance so I know how to continue this IEP process..  I am sorry it’s so long. 


I have to tell you as a side note: had I found your blog before we left the school and they gradually took items I didn’t want taken off of Colton’s IEP it might have been a different situation. I am thankful for your passion to do this for families. Even if you read this after my meeting date I wanted to say that. 

Tanya Van Kirk 



Sent from my iPhone
I downloaded your IEP binder resources but it’s still so foreign to me as to what to do in my situation. 
I have triplets, they are 6 yrs old now and asd diagnosed. We have been in therapy since 6 month old through CDSA which came to the house. Than when they turned three everyone aged out of the CDSA and they were evaluated for exceptional children preK. Only one qualified. 
We still continued outside services for the other two (feeding, OT, PT for Savannah, speech) but Colton received OT and speech at preK in addition to the private services  outside of school. We have had a sensory processing diagnosis very early on but I never pursued the asd diagnosis per my pediatrician recommendation since we already had all the services under Medicaid, The next year the other two were able to go based on a fee-for-service and when they were finishing up that year wanting to transition them to Kindergarten, I wanted them to stay back. They told me no and I had already asked for them to be evaluated for an IEP to which they had denied me after evaluation. 

Colton at this time had an IEP under developmental delay and the other two did not. Since they wouldn’t let me keep them in PreK and they didn’t have the tools to go to K successfully, I pulled them. Colton could have gone on to K with his IEP but they are triplets and I am drowning everyday.. so I couldn’t have done that. 
So we qualified for ESA plus and opportunity scholarship based on income and Colton having an IEP and we sent them to a private school for K but treated it as a transitional K knowing I was always going to hold them back. 
Fast forward, our IEP expired- which I didn’t know until I went to apply for funding again this year- we also finally received our asd diagnosis and never stopped our therapies. Once being diagnosed we added ABA and that’s been lifechanging. Still haven’t slept through the night since Colton was one but we are working on it.. 

BUT all background aside. 

I sent to the public school as other homeschoolers have done and they def remembered me. After the “should have sent him to K” “ I told you to just have faith in him” remarks aside I am in the process , long long process of having everyone evaluated for IEP’s. I have filled out stacks of tests answering question after question like I did for the asd diagnosis.. and on Tuesday.. (oh God I hope you see this before Tuesday) they give me a yay or nay on the IEP. The school psychologist keeps telling me they are well behaved and they are doing so well and that an asd diagnosis doesn’t qualify or outside services (speech feeding PT for two OT for all and ABA doesn’t qualify them fir IEP’s so I know they are going yo tell me no. 

See my kids are high functioning and obedient but they should be we have a tool box of items therapists for 6 years now have given me and I use them. I do everything every therapist has recommended from day 1 to our own demise. I M consistent and my house is set up like a preschool with visual timers schedules calm down centers I dentifcabtion of feelings posters.. reward charts and calm down strategies.. of course they will listen. My goal has never been to disable my children or change them it’s just been to give them the tools necessary to support who they are in todays society. 

Also, it’s not that I don’t believe in the public school it’s that I feel they don’t have the tools that need to go. 
We say things because we have large issues with social pragmatic speech like “ your black skin is smelly” “ I don’t like black monster people” I mean things they don’t understand bevause they just don’t like contrast and differences in anything even their food.. but I can’t let them say that to another child. And Colton sees things and has irrational fears all night and with shadows during the day and it’s always someone dying bleeding apocalypse going to happen or the mungus is saying to kill the people.. he confuses reality and fiction a lot. Again, I can’t let him go to school and say something to someone they deem unsafe.. we work on social stories and situational responses and how people feel when you say something.. like Savannah has zero empathy.. hurts people to hurt people sometimes, will fall down and have blood gushing from her leg and will still not say anything until her pants are dirty such a high pain tolerance, she has a tongue thrust wears glasses like coke bottles and mason has visual tracking issues and gets bison therapy..  I am on a tangent and happy to send you any of our tests if you want to see.. I did take some pictures. 


So all that aside, what do I say when they deny them? 
Can I use PWN at that time even though we don’t have N IEP?
I read on one of your posts about requesting an outside evaluation, I can’t find it again. What words do I say to do that?
What other options do I have at the time they deny me and what words do I not say? They already think I am a crazy loon because I am a hot mess. I confuse the triplets sometimes and will say oh no mason does that not Colton and they have made comments I need to keep post it notes on the kids and every one laughs.

If we can’t get an IEP we lose all funding for the alternative school they are thriving in and I can’t send them to that public school either.. I feel lost. I am hoping this is read and that you have some words of guidance so I know how to continue this IEP process..  I am sorry it’s so long. 


I have to tell you as a side note: had I found your blog before we left the school and they gradually took items I didn’t want taken off of Colton’s IEP it might have been a different situation. I am thankful for your passion to do this for families. Even if you read this after my meeting date I wanted to say that. 

Tanya Van Kirk 



Sent from my iPhone

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Hi! 
It is a very sad reality that an ASD diagnosis does not guarantee an IEP  in public school systems. Also, a lot of public schools are not equipped to understand or evaluate low support needs children (aka high functioning) even though they have a SPED director overseeing the process. But dear, why haven’t you gotten an advocate yet? Or looked into a special education lawyer? It seems like this school district is brushing you and your concerns for your children off and low support needs children thrive BECAUSE of therapies and intervention, not lack or in spite of. This is going to be a true fight for your family to get this school to recognize your children for an IEP. 

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The school has evaluated each of the triplets, and you meet on Tuesday to discuss the outcome of their evaluations, correct? There are 13 qualifying categories for an IEP, and unfortunately, it's not based on medical diagnosis, but is based on what the school determines is having the greatest educational impact. Remember that schools are required to evaluate in ALL areas of suspected disability, so make sure they've evaluated in all the areas of concern (PT, OT, speech, feeding, vision, etc.). If you disagree with the district's findings, you could consider requesting an IEE, but, districts can deny an IEE request and file for due process. Read over Lisa's article on IEEs at https://adayinourshoes.com/iee-independent-education-evaluation/ Have you provided the district with your children's evaluations from their private therapists?

Good luck on Tuesday. 

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If the eval the school did isn't accurate because your children have issues with pragmatic language & the school didn't evaluate that area, you can request an IEE.  Also verify that the school assessed social skills.  (These are the 2 areas that autistic children tend to have delays and the schools tend to miss.)

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-I am thankful to check back here and see responses but have no idea how to respond back to the answers.

 

NIN7594 asked why I didn’t have an IEP lawyer or advocate? This is the first time I am hearing an IEP lawyer even exists. I only recently in the last maybe 2 months stumbled across this page and learned there is help with your IEP and IEP advocates. 
Lisa said my safety guards still apply, I googled that phrase and also went back to blog to find it. I don’t know what that means? 
JSD24 would I email the school psychologist today and ask if they tested social skills or request an IEE? Also will an IEE give me the elegibility determination letter I need for the ESA grant? 
Jenna yes that is correct. They saw the school nurse to test vision but she said beyond that they don’t have tests for vison tracking, they told me from day 1 of preK when mason was diagnosed failure to thrive from what we suspected to be ARFID at the time, feeding is not education relevant and I can not have a feeding therapist come into the school. Because of this, I know they didn’t test in feeding. Our private therapists have submitted all of our current evaluations in speech PT OT to them. Unfortunately, last week they discharged two from speech. They said they have made progress in social pragmatic and they can’t duplicate the situation. I ask them what they are doing and the day “today we talked about thoughts and things that need to stay in our heads. If you see someone with a dot on their forehead do you say what’s wrong with your head? And of course with a leading question, no you don’t is the reply. And how would that person feel if you did. Again the answer to everything is generally sad. So they say sad and than they get an attaboy and we feel we have fixed the issue. Fast forward the next few days and we are playing in an inside play structure by ourselves and a 3yr old (thank goodness didn’t understand) light skinned black girl comes to play and they are amazed she doesn’t have red eyes and they run away from her like she is scary and  I have to coach at that time and fib a little about a game they are playing and we are so overstimulated in play we aren’t completely complying to the words I am saying but again I am saying they but that issue was all C the other day. Even though asked me when  he left if he did a good job playing with the black girl. He is always after verbal praise. I should also mention that I am part Vietnamese and they are too, we have lots of ethnic diversity in play dates and within our toys and in our books we read. So please don’t think we teach any of this perception at home. They also know they get in trouble for saying things about not liking someone based on how they look. They can say “he doesn’t share so I don’t like to play with him” but not “he has black hair so I don’t play with him” 

 

 

lastly- can someone bullet point answer my questions in the question? I want to create a reference for quick answers at the time of the IEP determination meeting. I pasted them below again:

—what do I say when they deny them? 
—Can I use PWN at that time even though we don’t have an IEP?
I read on one of your posts about requesting an outside evaluation, I can’t find it again. What words do I say to do that? Is that IEE?
—What other options do I have at the time they deny me and what words do I not say?

—I have also downloaded the IEP toolkit a month ago but have no idea how to use it to help me since we don’t have an IEP. 
—can I go to another school in my district and request evaluations if they deny me? How long do I have to wait to go if I can go? 

 

thank you to everyone taking their time to help. 
 

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Oh I should mention to all that the school would not accept any OT evaluations for the boys as their evaluation time is due in December and the last evals were a year ago for Medicaid- the therapist did send over progress notes and all of the history for them (mind you C (boy) has the largest issue with speech) but the school wouldn’t accept it and did their own educational OT evaluation which I am told was basically gross and fine motor and handwriting and scissor skills. I say Educational like that because they told me that hair pulling was irrelevant to education. Even though Colton pulled out every hair on his head before he was 2. 

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How did the meeting go? 

Your state's Department of Education would have a guide to parent's rights in the special education process. That guide explains your procedural safeguard options (administrative reviews, facilitated IEP meetings/ mediation, filing a state complaint, and filing for due process). The school should have given you a copy of your parent rights at the evaluation meeting if they didn't earlier. 

Lisa's post on requesting independent educational evaluations (IEEs) is at: https://adayinourshoes.com/iee-independent-education-evaluation/ in case you need it.

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