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Former Client-WWYD


Lisa Lightner
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I had this client many moons ago. She had several kids with IEPs.

She was very difficult to deal with, to say the least. Then, with one of her kids, we went to mediation with the IU (IUs are a PA thing) and we got EVERYTHING she asked for. Cool.

The next day, she called (maybe emailed) the IU, without consulting me, and said NO to everything. That she was withdrawing the kid. My contact person at the IU called me, it was a hot mess.

I had to fire her. She wasted so much of my time that I could have used helping other families. There was a LOT of other stuff over several months. 

A few years go by, she starts DMing me on Fb. Blocked her. She starts dm'ing the page, blocked again.

She emails our customer service email account, my VA. I sent her an email recounting our "advocacy relationship" from several years prior, and told her in no uncertain terms to never contact me again. That I would not ever be providing advocacy services for her.

I just checked--it was Feb and June of this year, that I had to send her more emails and block her.

Now, in October? She fucking sent me a DM on LinkedIn! WTF? 

Should I get a restraining order? I blocked her on LinkedIn.

Would appreciate thoughts from parents and advocates on this.

 

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That's a tough one. I would probably consult an attorney. I just did a quick search on restraining orders in PA and unless you were physically abused or threatened, I'm not sure that your situation would be eligible for one. However, an attorney might know of other remedies that would be available to you. I'm curious to see what you find out though. 

What is a Restraining Order in Pennsylvania? from (https://herlawyer.com/restraining-order-in-pennsylvania/)

A restraining order is a legally-binding protective order a court issues, which provides protection or relief to a victim. Restraining orders outline the conditions of the order both parties must follow and the consequences for breaking the order. There are three different types of restraining orders: protection from abuse order, protection from sexual violence order, and protection from intimidation order.

Protection from abuse order, or PFA, protects individuals being physically abused, threatened, or sexually violated by a partner, spouse, or relative. Protection from Sexual Violence order, or SVP, is an order of protection for people who experience sexual violence by a non-intimate partner (coworker, neighbor, or a stranger). Protection from intimidation order, or PFI, is for minors who are harassed or stalked by an adult over 18 with whom the child did not have any intimate relationship.

Michigan mother of two with IEPs, and owner of MI Student Advocacy Services. Trying to change the world one IEP at a time. 

 

 

 

 

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Yeah, I hadn't even gotten that far and wondered if it would apply.

What scares me is that she has total disregard for the obvious signs I want no contact with her.

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Looks like cease and desist is the way to go... 

What are the grounds for a cease and desist?

Cease and desist letters are used in a number of situations, but the following four are the most common.

Infringement of an Intellectual Property Right. Whether it's a copyright, trademark, or patent, your ownership of intellectual property gives you specific rights. ...

Debt Collection Services. ...

Slander and Libel. ...

Harassment.

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Can you refer her to another person to help her?  CCIU has a parent mentor and the Arc has advocates.  They have more resources to deal with people like this.

Did you explain to her why you dropped her?  Have you explicitly told her that after the incident where you helped her get what her child needed from the IU back in (insert month & year here) and she then withdrew her child from the IU, that this made you look bad as a professional advocate and you do not wish to serve her as a client for fear she will damage the reputation of A Day in Our Shoes?  You might want to mention that you will be pressing charges if she attempts to contact you again.

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You are right to be unsettled that she ignores boundaries including an extremely clear request never to contact you again. This behavior is consistent with stalking. I agree with starting with a cease and desist. Have a lawyer help you write it and send via certified mail or by process server. If she has ever made a threatening remark, particularly if it's in writing, consider filing a police report as well. 

I am sorry you are dealing with this. 

Here is a useful website with some additional thoughts you might find useful: https://victimconnect.org/learn/types-of-crime/stalking/

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