Lisa Lightner

So reasonable....is subjective, of course. You knew that. I think this request is reasonable. Obvs this school does not. Their argument, however, is invalid. "All students" doesn't apply here, because we're not talking about all students. We're talking about one with a life altering disability. That's the strategy and argument I would use. "All students" don't need a trusted adult there so that they can function normally. This one does.

So, there's a lot going on here. And I'm headed out the door to take Thing 2 to basketball practice. 1. even tho it might feel scary--I'd fire this advocate. What are you paying them for, if they don't want to take up the difficult issues? Find another one. But this doesn't feel like money well spent to me if they won't do the hard things. 2. Restraint and seclusion regulations vary by state. So you're going to have to find them for your state, they should be in your state's education code. Also, look at your school district website for restraint and seclusion policies. 3. Restraint and seclusion doesn't work, plain and simple. Is the FBA and BIP solid, in that it identifies what it is that is going on with your son that causes these episodes? Most FBAs are not. Consider asking for an IEE. 4. I have mixed feelings about high functioning and low functioning labels. I do use the term low functioning to describe my own son, as it is an accurate description of him. However, when people use the term high functioning, it usually means verbal ability and not much else. Clearly your son needs instruction in emotional regulation and self advocacy--to recognize when this is happening and appropriately self advocate for a coping mechanism (sensory break, etc.). When you use the term high functioning, it sets an expectation for him, that it does not appear he can meet at this time.

Ok, first, schools do not diagnose. They determine a child eligible or ineligible for special education, under one of the 13 eligibility categories. In my 15 years of doing this, I have seen many kids incorrectly categorized as ED instead of autism, because when autistic needs are not met, the child often displays behaviors similar to ED. However, what gives me reason to pause is that your neuropsych said aspberger which is no longer in the DSM and hasn't been for over 10 years. Nevertheless the child in front of you should match the child on paper. What you're asking the school to do is to change eligibility category based on the neuropsych eval instead of the school's eval. Be careful, because if the neuropsych report also says anxiety, that certainly qualifies for ED. If this is what you want, you need to make a formal request to make this change, and you'll receive their decision on a NOREP. And no, another set of evals is not necessary (by law) to do this. Ask them to show you where it says that, if that is their sticking point. A school can choose to use an outside eval if they want.

Probably not the answer you want to hear, but I don't think your grandson needs a 1:1. What he needs is someone to evaluate, dig deep, and figure out the reason that he's eloping. Is it task avoidance? Is it a sensory break? What is going on, that he just cannot bring himself to sit there for one moment longer, and elopes? A 1:1 will just pat him on the arm or verbally prompt him to not elope. That's a bandaid fix at best. If you don't get at the root cause, and either offer accommodations, look at environmental changes, or teach him coping mechanisms that are more appropriate (and safer) than eloping, the behavior will never stop.

No, that sounds like retaliation. I'd seek an attorney. I know many parents say "I can't afford one" but when we're talking about choking, DCF and all that, you can't afford to not at least visit one for an initial consult.

you did it!

Well, here we are. Not the outcome that many of us wanted, but here we are. So let's get together, share, comfort each other....because we are not alone.

Also, FSIQs are a vanity metric. What did the subtests show?

How do PT, OT, SLP....know what to work on? What are the goals? Are there goals? And if there are goals....sounds like an IEP to me. I suppose there's nothing in IDEA preventing a student from having a 504 with FOUR related services....but it's odd. Why not just give an IEP when it's obvious the child needs it? To prevent having to progress monitor, maybe? Who knows why they do what they do. Read up on IEEs if you haven't already. You may want to consider asking for one if you disagree with their evaluations. Ditto to what Carolyn said about keeping track of the school refusal stuff. Remember tomorrow you don't have to agree to anything, you can just listen and process the information over the weekend. (and post it here, of course)

This is not something specifically defined by IDEA. However, IDEA does give parents the right to "meaningful parent participation." Does a school policy supersede meaningful parent participation? Not usually. However, it will take a formal complaint of some kind to undo this. That might be an OCR complaint, compliance complaint.

I'm a stickler about one thing--NO DIAGNOSES on the profile page. https://adayinourshoes.com/front-page-iep/

Question: How do you handle it when the school resists adding certain supports or services to your child's IEP? Any success stories or strategies to share?

Question: What strategies have you found effective for managing your child's behavior at school? How did you work these into their IEP?

Question: How do you interpret your child’s progress data from their IEP? Any tips or tools that have helped you understand it better?

Question: For parents whose kids are transitioning from one school level to another (e.g., elementary to middle school), what tips or advice would you share? What worked, and what didn’t?

Question: What has been your biggest win in advocating for your child? And what lesson did you learn from a challenging IEP meeting?

Question: What's the most creative or unusual accommodation you've successfully included in your child's IEP? How has it helped them?

Question: Share a time when you finally felt heard by your child's IEP team. What made the difference, and how did it impact your child's education?

By and large, retention doesn't work. The data doesn't support it. The school has to provide you a PWN with what they deny in regards to the IEP stuff. Look at your school website for appeals or grievance procedures regarding the grade retention.

If you wish for him to do a 13th or 14th year, then you need to be setting that groundwork NOW. You cannot go to a meeting in April or May and expect this to happen. Here is what goes into a solid transition plan: https://adayinourshoes.com/iep-transition/ And here are some things to know about the levels of guardianship, POA, etc. A letter stating as much may not be enough. https://adayinourshoes.com/guardianship-disabled-child/

Question: How did you keep your child engaged and learning over the summer break? Do you incorporate any IEP goals into summer activities?

Pick whichever want you feel is best--and don't over think it. We can always move them but we're not too stuck on "rules" here. As long as everyone is kind and helpful, I don't heavy-hand moderate the stuff. Everyone's first post is moderated to prevent spam, but once you've been approved you should be able to post, with the exception that the filters sometimes "hold" links if you post a link.

Ask them to show you where it says that. A 13th year is used for a variety of things, including lots of non-credit stuff. The 13th and 14th year actually wasn't designed for delayed credit completion. I'd start by asking for a vocational evaluation or other things that would warrant another year, and also what it's going to look like. I strongly encourage everyone to take my transition workshop series, so you know how to effectively navigate this process. https://adayinourshoes.heightsplatform.com/courses/crushing-it-in-iep-transition-for-parents/preview

Yes, I'm a firm believer of "all ships in the harbor rise together" and that by all of us advocating, we can change the course. The other option is your state complaint process, or OCR, or the other complaint options.

Every time someone posts for the first time....you will have to be approved. Subsequent posts should go through without approval. But, if you post a link...sometimes it gets held. If you're a frequent poster, it shouldn't. But bots gonna bot...and they don't always get it right.