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I was wondering if you have any information on how to address punitive responses for behaviors related to conditions that are listed on IEP’s. My 13-year-old son is AuDHD with generalized anxiety. Some related behaviors to those diagnoses might include shutting down, task avoidance, impulsivity, questioning rules or assignments, or hiding under a table when he was younger as a fight or flight response when he was overwhelmed. All of these behaviors would result in suspensions or punitive actions with a justification that they were ultimately safety issues for the class that override any claims for IEP protections and punitive actions are taken because he violates school policy. Suspensions have done nothing to help change his behavior or help him, and have only contributed to additional stress and anxieties. I understand the school is probably frustrated and reacts this way to seem fair to other students or because they have no other options made available to them, but it seems archaic and counterproductive to the ultimate goals to help him. I’m wondering if they are technically allowed to do this or if there are other options available under the IEP rules to address how he is handled when he lacks the skills to cope in certain situations. It seems like, even when they are trying to maintain a façade of fairness, he is often treated more punitively than other students are for similar actions because he does it more frequently. I’m so tired of the double standards, and the school’s inability to address these issues more proactively, so I’d love to bring some suggestions to the table at our next IEP meeting. Thank you!

We live in Indiana. This is the first time since our son got his IEP as a first grader that we have ever had a TOR who is incompetent. She is forgetful, scattered, doesn't respond to all questions, concerns or emails and cannot come up with any ideas to help our ASD1/ADHD son. Most of her attempts to get him to get work done in class is by telling him to do it. Then she emails me saying that he "refuses" or "won't" or "ignores" her. Previous TORs have then come up with strategies to help him with these as they are obvious ASD/ADHD issues. The principal apologized in a phone call with me (2 weeks after school began and I became very concerned with her abilities) that they didn't give her adequate "onboarding" and that is on them. I have since discovered that she was hired the day before school began, having never worked in our district prior, but had worked in other districts. My son has been in school now for nearly 3 months. I have a ridiculous amount of emails to the school backing me up. Also I have been the one coming up with strategies for her to try with him! We also have a very large high school and more than one TOR for freshmen. Which leads to my question: Can we request a different Teacher of Record/Resource Teacher for our freshman in HS? Thanks!

My son is 12 in middle school at a public charter school in kcmo. He has ADHD and asd. Before this year he's not had homework. He's now in 6th grade and it's middle school. So a lot of teachers and Now homework. I'm confused why I just got the email today and some assignments are due tomorrow and the assignments really aren't described very well. And it's only 3 assignments. But Jude is in executive dysfunction and change freak out. Like he swears one of the assignments is 7 paragraphs. But from the email it seems simpler then that. I emailed the teacher to get a better description. I emailed his homeroom teacher and sped teacher and explained the issues and some ideas that they can do and I plan on doing to help him. Like writing a list on paper of the assignments and when I get a better description of them I'll write down steps. I am asking he get extra time to do assignments in his IEP and if I have to I'll argue and fight for 50% work. I'm figuring for an iPad to type things out because he's complained for weeks he's having trouble because of his difficulty writing. He had 4 years of it but his hand writing isn't the greatest. This school is super academic and Jude learns a lot. But it is a whole lot. I believe in Jude and I believe in his team of teachers and I'll work hard with him. Does anyone have any suggestions to help?

My son is 12 in middle school at a public charter school in kcmo. He has ADHD and asd. Before this year he's not had homework. He's now in 6th grade and it's middle school. So a lot of teachers and Now homework. I'm confused why I just got the email today and some assignments are due tomorrow and the assignments really aren't described very well. And it's only 3 assignments. But Jude is in executive dysfunction and change freak out. Like he swears one of the assignments is 7 paragraphs. But from the email it seems simpler then that. I emailed the teacher to get a better description. I emailed his homeroom teacher and sped teacher and explained the issues and some ideas that they can do and I plan on doing to help him. Like writing a list on paper of the assignments and when I get a better description of them I'll write down steps. I am asking he get extra time to do assignments in his IEP and if I have to I'll argue and fight for 50% work. I'm figuring for an iPad to type things out because he's complained for weeks he's having trouble because of his difficulty writing. He had 4 years of it but his hand writing isn't the greatest. This school is super academic and Jude learns a lot. But it is a whole lot. I believe in Jude and I believe in his team of teachers and I'll work hard with him. Does anyone have any suggestions to help?

First, I must say that A Day in Our Shoes has been my lifeline and enabled me to get IEE’s for both of my kiddos as well as compensatory services that have finally started. Unfortunately, our district, and SELPA in California are shameless. (Paid out $46 million to twins with special needs a few months ago). I’m strongly considering putting us all on a plane and moving back to Yardley, Pa so we can be with my mom. That would put my twins in middle school in the Pennsbury school district. If you have heard any reviews and are comfortable sharing, I would love to hear them. Or if there is a stand-out school or district in that area that you know of, please let me know. My twins have different needs but overall top priorities I’m seeking are: no tolerance for bullying, competence with SLD (written expression), social skills, and outside physical activity (games, soccer, basketball, etc.). My kiddos still have fine motor struggles but have always been exceptional with gross motor skills….one is a sponsored skateboarder. And the IEE for one kiddo found him to have math skills at college level, which qualifies him as twice exceptional here. Things are just so bad here that I am getting a home medical note to avoid truancy retaliation while figuring out where we should go. I greatly appreciate any recommendations, ideas or thoughts